Dear Abbey,
Last night in my scripture study I came across Jacob 2 . I view this chapter as the "pornography" chapter. There were a couple of verses that stuck out to me, for obvious reasons. Verses 31 and 32 spoke to me:
"31- For behold, I, the Lord have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
32- And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts."
Before seeking my own recovery 2 years ago these verses would have triggered me into despair. I was an extreme perfectionist and was embarrassed and ashamed of my imperfect marriage. Nobody knew what was going on in my life except for our bishop. I couldn't look him in the eye because he knew. He knew our secret; something wasn't perfect.
I want nothing more in my life than to please the Lord and to reach my final goal of living in eternal happiness in His presence. These verses showed me the Lord's disapproval of what what happening in my marriage and in my home; the place that I worked so hard in making heaven on earth. I took the blame for my husband's addiction therefore his sins were on me...or so I thought.
I now view these verses in a completely different light. The Lord hears my cries of sorrow. He knows of my broken heart. And he knows its not my fault. And it is through His word that my soul can be healed.
Sincerely,
Me
Last night in my scripture study I came across Jacob 2 . I view this chapter as the "pornography" chapter. There were a couple of verses that stuck out to me, for obvious reasons. Verses 31 and 32 spoke to me:
"31- For behold, I, the Lord have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
32- And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts."
Before seeking my own recovery 2 years ago these verses would have triggered me into despair. I was an extreme perfectionist and was embarrassed and ashamed of my imperfect marriage. Nobody knew what was going on in my life except for our bishop. I couldn't look him in the eye because he knew. He knew our secret; something wasn't perfect.
I want nothing more in my life than to please the Lord and to reach my final goal of living in eternal happiness in His presence. These verses showed me the Lord's disapproval of what what happening in my marriage and in my home; the place that I worked so hard in making heaven on earth. I took the blame for my husband's addiction therefore his sins were on me...or so I thought.
I now view these verses in a completely different light. The Lord hears my cries of sorrow. He knows of my broken heart. And he knows its not my fault. And it is through His word that my soul can be healed.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm a perfectionist too. I still struggle with those perfectionism tendencies. It's hard to accept my life as it is: imperfect. But we are healing, and I feel like things are perfectly imperfect, something I hadn't really considered before.
ReplyDeleteI love these verses. Thanks for sharing them :)