Dear Abbey,
When Wil's addiction first unfolded we lived in Rexburg, Idaho. I suffered 3 years with no support and a husband in denial of his addiction. It was "just a little bad habit". He wasn't seeking recovery since...well, you know, he wasn't addicted. He met with our bishop after each relapse (that he got caught in) but that was it. I felt like I was the only one in the world that was going through this and isolated myself.
When Wil FINALLY admitted that pornography wasn't just a bad habit and that he was actually addicted, he began attending the LDS Addiction Recovery meetings specifically for those addicted to pornography. Looking at the ARP meeting schedule, you'd think that Rexburg was the birthplace of porn addictions. There were 4 different meetings a week just for pornography addicts. On top of that they held spouse support groups 2 days a week. Lots of meetings and lots of attendees (20+). That's a lot for a town of 25,000 people.
Wil loved going to his meetings and I started to see big changes in him. He had hope, accountability, support and light. He encouraged me to go to the spouse support groups but I never went. I was too afraid and didn't see how listening to other people's bad marriages was going to help me. I was trapped.
When we moved to Montana we discovered just one ARP meeting in our area that covered a 50 mile radius. The meeting was a general meeting and for the longest time Andy was the only attendee. With that,of course there was no spouse group.
I began feeling more alone than I ever had wanting SOMEONE to talk to. I yearned to go back to Rexburg where I knew there were groups of women that understood. I felt so broken and ignored and needed someone to recognize me and the pain I'm enduring.
I spent a long time being frustrated with the Lord. Why did he take me away from the support when I now so desperately want it? I finally realized why. The Lord knows me. He knows how I tick and he knows how to teach me when I'm acting like a stubborn 2 year old. He knew I needed love and support but in order for me to realize that, he had to take me away from it. I had to leave the support to realize that I really want it and need it.
When I saw the need in my life and asked for help, the Lord directed me to online forums, blogs, incredible people, therapy programs, and online support groups. I don't have to live in Rexburg, Idaho or Provo, Utah to get the help that I need. The tools and people are everywhere. I've never lived in such an isolating place, but yet I feel united and loved by fellow survivors. I'm not alone.
Sincerely,
Me
When Wil's addiction first unfolded we lived in Rexburg, Idaho. I suffered 3 years with no support and a husband in denial of his addiction. It was "just a little bad habit". He wasn't seeking recovery since...well, you know, he wasn't addicted. He met with our bishop after each relapse (that he got caught in) but that was it. I felt like I was the only one in the world that was going through this and isolated myself.
When Wil FINALLY admitted that pornography wasn't just a bad habit and that he was actually addicted, he began attending the LDS Addiction Recovery meetings specifically for those addicted to pornography. Looking at the ARP meeting schedule, you'd think that Rexburg was the birthplace of porn addictions. There were 4 different meetings a week just for pornography addicts. On top of that they held spouse support groups 2 days a week. Lots of meetings and lots of attendees (20+). That's a lot for a town of 25,000 people.
Wil loved going to his meetings and I started to see big changes in him. He had hope, accountability, support and light. He encouraged me to go to the spouse support groups but I never went. I was too afraid and didn't see how listening to other people's bad marriages was going to help me. I was trapped.
When we moved to Montana we discovered just one ARP meeting in our area that covered a 50 mile radius. The meeting was a general meeting and for the longest time Andy was the only attendee. With that,of course there was no spouse group.
I began feeling more alone than I ever had wanting SOMEONE to talk to. I yearned to go back to Rexburg where I knew there were groups of women that understood. I felt so broken and ignored and needed someone to recognize me and the pain I'm enduring.
I spent a long time being frustrated with the Lord. Why did he take me away from the support when I now so desperately want it? I finally realized why. The Lord knows me. He knows how I tick and he knows how to teach me when I'm acting like a stubborn 2 year old. He knew I needed love and support but in order for me to realize that, he had to take me away from it. I had to leave the support to realize that I really want it and need it.
When I saw the need in my life and asked for help, the Lord directed me to online forums, blogs, incredible people, therapy programs, and online support groups. I don't have to live in Rexburg, Idaho or Provo, Utah to get the help that I need. The tools and people are everywhere. I've never lived in such an isolating place, but yet I feel united and loved by fellow survivors. I'm not alone.
Sincerely,
Me
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