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Saturday, March 29, 2014

I'm Tired

Dear Abbey,

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being triggered by every little thing around me.
I'm tired of feeling alone when I'm surrounded by people.
I'm tired of hiding behind a mask pretending like my life is perfect.
I'm tired of not having friends because I push them away.
I'm tired of feeling helpless.
I'm tired of feeling unloved.
I'm tired because I can't sleep.
I'm tired of broken promises.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm too broken to be a good mom.
I'm tired of keeping secrets from my family.
I'm tired of always having to be strong.
I'm tired of being angry.
I'm tired of being ignored.
I'm tired of being told to "just deal with it" when nobody knows what I'm going through.
I'm tired of the expectations.
I'm tired of the roller coaster.
I'm tired of enduring through each day being such hard work.
I'm tired of not being enough.
I'm tired of being let down.
I'm tired of being so bitter.
I'm tired of not being able to be happy for others.
I'm tired of having meltdowns litterally over spilled milk.
I'm tired of being scared.
I'm tired of being a zombie.
I'm tired of betrayal trauma.
I'm tired of being a WoPA.

Sincerely,
Me

2 comments:

  1. Love and hugs Abbey. I can so relate....being a WoPA is so, so hard.....

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  2. Being a WoPA is so exhausting, it feels like all of your energy has to be put towards merely surviving most of the time. You are awesome for choosing to continue to trek forward though, and you are strong, keep your head up! Love ya!

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